If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
3 2 1 whiskey
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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