remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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