S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
