I need help removing her.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
