Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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