Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
