she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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