maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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