Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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