Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
