my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
