dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
