He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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