it's not cheating when I paid for it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
