you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
