Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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