i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
