My underwear smells like fireworks.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
