is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize