Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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