oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
