I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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