That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
