we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
