Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
