You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
