Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
