does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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