pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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