I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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