That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize