You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
