Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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