I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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