Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
