i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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