Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
