i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
