matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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