There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
