My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
