My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
