Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
