his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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