I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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