when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
did you just send me my own nude
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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