I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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