Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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