What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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