She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
