I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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