I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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