hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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