Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
