I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
