I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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