Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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