Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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